From page 37, Money Week - 1 February 2008, by Ruth Jackson
On the basis of column inches, it seems that one of the most important stories of the week was the discovery that the Royal Mint is to remove Britannia from the 50p coin. "I don't think anyone cares for her much longer", said John Porteous, a member of the Royal Mint's Advisory Committee on Coin Design. Judging by the vitriolic rants in the tabloids, it seems either Porteous was very wrong, or the newspapers are just glad to have something to rail against. "You'll rue the day you axed Britannia from coins," said the Daily Express, while the Daily Mail argues that this is just the final insult in a long line that Britannia has received from the Labour Government.
So just who is Britannia? An article from The Guardian furnished us with the revelation that she isn't quite the patriotic symbol the tabloids would have us believe. She first appeared on Roman coins to mark the successful invasion of the British isles - so in that sense she actually symbolises "conquest and subjugation," says the Independent. The current image on our 50p coins is based on a lady of Charles II's court who he was trying to impress. It must have worked, as she is thought to have become his mistress - hardly the right pedigree for a symbol of British rectitude. And Gordon Brown isn't the first leader to meddle with Britannia. Queen Victoria added the trident and lion to the image to mark the empire's prowess at sea, taking the opportunity discreetly to cover up Britannia's naked breasts.
In the 21st century, Britain is no longer of the seas - a fact the Daily Mail doesn't hesitate to blame on Brown. "We all know that Britannia no longer rules the waves ... not least because New Labour has wound down the Royal Navy to become little more than a coastal defence force." Yet given that our country has moved, perhaps it's time to replace her with something that better represents today's Britain. The Daily Mail suggests Jade Goody. We somehow doubt she'll make the shortlist - but with the Royal Mint yet to reveal which entrant has won its competition for new designs, time will only tell what will appear on future 50p coins. But it's safe to assume the newspapers will dedicate several pages to criticising it too.
THE VOICE OF REASON Solon, (born c. 630 BCE—died c. 560 BCE), Athenian statesman, known as one of the Seven Wise Men of Greece (the others were Chilon of Sparta, Thales of Miletus, Bias of Priene, Cleobulus of Lindos, Pittacus of Mytilene, and Periander of Corinth). Solon ended exclusive aristocratic control of the government, substituted a system of control by the wealthy, and introduced a new and more humane law code. He was also a noted poet.
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Is there any end to the national taste for masochism? Just heard a newly-arrived American businessman inform his Texas family by cell-phone: 'It's OK here, really - all the TV shows are American, the newspapers are written in American. This feels like a state in America.' I don't think he was joking, or trying to be nasty. No, Jade Goody should not be inscribed on our coins - why show this repulsive pea-brained ill-mannered English slag when we could have an elegant, cool-looking 6-foot black Britannia instead. Let's just go the whole hog, after all. Our island story's finished.
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