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Sunday, 1 November 2009

Happy Halloween Ideas to Those Who Hate Halloween

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  1. Get a fake hand grenade with a removable pin. (IMPORTANT: It must not be a real one or you will get into even more trouble.)
  2. Wear a burka.
  3. Open the door.
  4. Remove pin.
  5. Curse the Infidels nations and their Godless consumerist traditions and laugh maniacally.
  6. Throw grenade at the little children who will invariably be accompanied by their parents.
  7. Enjoy their howls of horror.
  8. Retreat indoors before they recover from their shock, laughing maniacally all the while to complete the effect.
If you would prefer to go trick-or-treating you could wear the Nick Griffin horror mask, your best pin-striped suit with a BNP rosette. (IMPORTANT: See to it that you are also with a companion who would be wearing a burka. This would have the effect of disconcerting anyone who may become verbally or physically abusive.)

I had an interesting discussion when I was discussing the idea of trick-or-treating in a burka in a non-Muslim area.

It was pointed out to me that this would be racially and/or religiously offensive.

This is because it gave the message that Muslims are in some way feared and hated.

My response was that this would be true, on the whole, and no Muslim (extremist or moderate) would deny that the existence of Islamophobia.

I pointed out that in a non-Muslim area there would be no Muslims to offend.

If I were to go to a Muslim area then they would assume I was a convert/revert and think nothing of it, and therefore no Muslims would be offended in a Muslim area either.

If I knocked on Muslim doors saying "Trick or Treat?" they would either tell me to go away and stop being such a silly Muslim (for they would think I was one of them) or give me sweets if they were the more assimilated type of Muslim.

So what I proposed to do was neither religiously or racially offensive.

So there.

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