There is no way the Jews would ever agree on a messiah even if he did come.
Knowing them, they would end up getting the Americans to crucify him, and repeat their tragic history all over again, but this time as farce.
The Muslims, by saying their one and only one had come and gone, were being far far more sensible.
So far I have been treated to all sorts of nonsense by Rabbi Zvi Solomons of Reading about babies who are descendants of King David being born pre-anointed like they are pre-basted turkeys.
There not even remains that are provably David's from which the Jews can extract its DNA.
Because of the sheer impossibility of proving the DNA of David and of proving that one's ancestry is from his lineage, I am suggesting therefore that ANYBODY can claim to be Messiah, if enough people accept him or, indeed HER to include someone such as me.
I am therefore suggesting that the Jews of Britain do a messianic version of BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT.
This will be franchised internationally.
The most interesting one would be ISRAEL'S GOT MESSIAH, I imagine.
I suggest the panel of judges should consist of the Lord Chief Rabbi, the Archbishop of Canterbury and an Islamic cleric acceptable to the all the British people. Tim Winter? David Rosser-Owen?
I shall just be there hosting the show jollying things along, when they are too boring, incoherent or obscure and have run out of things to say.
Once every country has chosen its own local Messiah of the Jews, the candidates will have a world version in which the messianic candidates choose the messiah to save the world.
I then propose putting them in the Big Brother House to help them make their minds up about each other.
Instead of voting each other off, they will be asked to vote for a messiah amongst themselves to save the world. They cannot vote for themselves, obviously.
While they are choosing one of themselves to be Messiah there will be a parallel vote by the world which will vote via SMS the one they want to be messiah. If everything is right the chosen candidate will be the same one the candidates themselves choose.
I have offered the Jews of Britain an idea that can be potentially as big as BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT. I trust they will now go forth and spread the Word through the media that they are known to control.