If I were leader of UKIP, I would say:
"Cameron could easily have avoided having a coalition government if he hadn't been so busy kowtowing to the liberal agenda. If he had promoted and supported unashamedly Conservative policies, he would have won by a landslide, but such is the nature of the milquetoasts who pass for men in the LibLabCon.
An absence of moral courage and fear of alienating the female vote is the problem. If the Republicans knew what was good for them, they would be busily alienating the female vote now, and dare the women who vote Democrat to do their worst in November.
UKIP shall henceforth adopt a stance that is consistent with masculine authority and moral courage and speak the truth without fear or favour.
UKIP men will no longer cower before UKIP women like the disgraceful milquetoasts they were under the reign of Farage.
It was after all the female voter who voted in New Labour. Do we need to say any more about the perniciousness of courting the female vote? The last 50 years of Western government has been about courting the female vote and this is where it has got us: bankrupt. The West is now socially, financially and intellectually bankrupt, consumed as it has been by the demands of immoral and parasitical single mothers. There was a time before I became leader of UKIP when there was absolutely nothing about SSMs (Slut Single Mums) in the UKIP manifesto. Now, I am glad to say that that omission has finally been rectified since the resignation of Nigel Farage and his handing over of the party to me. He has very understandably decided that he wants to retire from his lifetime of moral cowardice. Yes, indeed: you now have your new broom, and things are going to be different now.
To the good liberal, SSMs are sacred cows who cannot be criticised, but we social conservatives who want fewer laws and lower taxes know better, do we not?
If Cameron had played his cards right, the Tories would not be confronted with the Scylla of Labour and the Charybdis of the Liberal Democrats, who are the parties of the Commie Pinko subversive.
UKIP will henceforth state its position on domestic and foreign policy every time an error of the government comes to light and explain how we would have done it different and better.
Every day, as each new error of government comes to light, it will be pointed out to the voter how I, Claire Khaw, leader of UKIP, would have done instead. By the time the next general election comes along, I will be seen as the saviour of degenerate Paedo Bastard Britain Slutland and simply step into Cameron's shoes. Indeed, I plan to stand in Witney as prospective parliamentary candidate. It will a historic first to oust a sitting Prime Minister."