Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Whom would I choose if both David Irving and Peter Mandelson proposed to me?

David Irving and me

Lord Mandelson

Someone online is always asking me questions on at and arranging marriages for me.  Today, he has suggested that I might like to marry David Irving, and I must say I am rather taken with the idea though previously I had convinced myself that only Peter Mandelson would do for me. David is just the kind of Englishman that I have always admired.  I can imagine what our honeymoon would be like, doing a romantic Hitler tour and but with none of his acolytes and around ....  

The thought of the UKIP-voting British Democratic Party  (who have now disabled me from commenting on their website at without warning or notification and the BNP gnashing their teeth, rending their garments and tearing their hair out at this prospect  is too delicious for words.  

If David wishes to approach me on the subject, he should know that he would be warmly received.

Peter Mandelson should not feel shy of applying, however. David may have also sorts of ethno-nationalist principles that could inhibit him.  I would point out to David as his unhired publicist that even just discussing this in public would have a beneficial effect on his book sales.

Simon Sheppard at may also wish to get in on the game as he has a book to sell.


snork maiden said...

Choose David Irving. Mandelson is gay, so all other arguments against a match are moot, and Shepphard hates women so much I doubt a relationship would last very long, even if you have been faithfully promoting his books.

Claire Khaw said...

I know Mandelson is gay. This means he won't be making any sexual demands of me at all. I get on with Simon Sheppard all right.

snork maiden said...

Then pick Shepphard, a lot of women do seem to like men who are in jail after all and at least you'd know where he was every night. But Mandelson's not only gay but spoken for.

Claire Khaw said...

I am not doing it for the company or the sex, but for influence and power.

I know Peter Mandelson is the one least likely to make unreasonable and oppressive sexual demands.

snork maiden said...

Ah, the more traditional female route to power, marry it rather than earn it.
In that case you'd best avoid Sheppard, no bright future there. But if you want power and influence I gather Rupert Murdoch is single these days?

Claire Khaw said...

Murdoch may be a little wary of Oriental women.

Claire Khaw said...

I wonder if David Irving has had any bad experiences with Oriental women. If he hasn't I may yet stand a chance. Even talk of our courtship would increase his book sales, I am sure.