Saturday, 26 April 2014

Claire Khaw proposes to John Cleese

Q:  Would you accept a proposal of marriage from John Cleese?

A:  He would need so much attention.

Q:  Why do you feel that John Cleese would need a lot of attention from a wife?

A:  He is getting on a bit, isn't he? He probably wants someone to laugh at his jokes.

Q: I am sure that Cleese does not think of his being a comedian to be his defining identity. His age is irrelevant, and you have said you would consider marriage proposals from men older than him. I actually think there is a political point you could make by marrying him.

Really? He is LibDem and I am ex-BNP.

Q:  I believe you and Cleese could draw up a pre-nup using Islamic marital contracts as a template. Allow the document to be publicly available, thus garnering media attention to your idea. Use Cleese's dreadful experience with alimony from his last ex-wife to support your argument for these contracts.

A:  That is indeed how I would go about it, but first there must be an invitation to treat for matters to proceed.
It does not have to proceed to completion. Even if negotiations were abortive they would be usefully illustrative.

Q:  I wish to add this: You have said you would consider proposals from men further to the Left than Cleese. You once stating conquering a leftie would be a nice achievement. He has expressed conservative views on culture and immigration. You can make him right-wing with your wiles and persuasion.

A: All right.  I will propose to him on Twitter.

If we do get married our matrimonial home should be called Khawlty Towers.  

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