Thursday, 17 February 2011

Five Welfare Reform Ideas by Claire Khaw

The government announce details of what is being described as the biggest shake-up of welfare in 60 years. Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith considers whether the government plans are realistic in the current economic climate.

How about this?

  1. Legalise brothel-keeping to give these single mums who are a burden on the state something to do.  They don't all have to become prostitutes.  The older, larger, fatter and uglier can do the accounts, man security and personal protection, work as beauticians, run gyms and creches, cook, clean, etc.
  2. Create a local citizens' militia to separate the CHAVs from the good citizens.
  3. Establish soup kitchens to see that no one starves.
  4. Get potential employers to visit soup kitchens which will have CCTV everywhere to assess character and suitability for work.  All people who go to soup kitchens will have to wear a number (rather like the prostitutes in brothels in Bangkok so you can identify the girl you want).  There they will be observed for dress, general demeanour, table manners, helpfulness, initiative, co-operation, leadership skills etc.  
  5. Everyone who wants to avail themselves of soup kitchen facilities will have to post their CVs on the only employment agency in the nation, and be available for work to continue eating.
Sorted, I think.

I will post this link to someone who will bring it to the Prime Minister's attention in due course, when there is rioting in the streets.  Only when it really hurts will the arrogant and dismissive turn to Auntie Claire ....

No comments: