Wednesday, 16 May 2012

My Messianic Plan for Self-Enrichment, Self-Aggrandisement and, last but not least, World Peace

How wonderful to just wake up one morning and CONCEIVE of my Messianic Programme for World Peace.

First, I will persuade the Rabbi of Reading at to sponsor my conversion to Judaism and arrange for me to stay at a home of a nice Jewish couple in Golder's Green who will teach me how to cook and do things like a good Jewess.

Once I have done so I will go to Israel as Messiah of the Jews. I will then go to explain the benefits of Secular Koranism to the Knesset and the Rabbis of Israel.

Then, I will convert to Christianity, visit all the famous churches of Jerusalem, and then convert to Islam the next week, UNITING ALL THE ABRAHAMIC FAITHS in me!

I will be promoting my own race, the British peoples who will then be proud to be associated with me, the Chosen Peeps of whom I will soon be one and all the other Peeps of the Book mentioned in the Koran.

I have to UNITE all the Abrahamic faiths in me for World Peace and cannot be seen to favour any one faith. In me, shall reside the Holy Trinity of the Jewish faith, the Christian faith and the Muslim faith.

And then, and then, and then, after I have finished converting from one Abrahamic faith to another at the rate of knots, a week later I am seen to be enjoying roast suckling pig at a high party official wedding in China ...

Yes, that should sort it, I think.

Is this idea not THRILLING? Would you not like to help me in this and give me money to do this or prepare yourself to be make a drama-documentary of how the Messiah of the Jews came to be the Messiah of the Jews?

Of course you would!

"Hmmmm.  Could he be Claire Khaw?"

1 comment:

Martin Wiltshire pp said...

"I think Claire is a fine candidate for the new age messiah. Why not? Can't be any worse than previous contenders and as a woman the chosen one of patriarchal religious societies makes for a lovely statement in irony."