Basically, all you have to do is ask every parent in the land if their children are illegitimate.
- 1 point per illegitimate child
- 1 point per illegitimate grandchild
- average the score out for every citizen who is a parent you asked
- compare it to other nations who have undergone the same methods of accounting
- whichever nation with the fewest points wins the prize of being deemed most happy and glorious of all the nations in the world