The pettiness of Alastair Campbell

He has blocked me on Facebook and consigned me to the outer wilderness of his fan club.

I wonder why.

And he dares to criticise Peter Mandelson of all people.

He posted on his blog today:

http://www.alastaircampbell.org/blog.php

Peter Mandelson is perfectly entitled to write a memoir, and as I found when publishing The Blair Years and Prelude to Power, there is never a perfect time and someone, somewhere will always find reason to criticise.

But in getting out his version of the election aftermath, he could have done worse than ask to see my diaries of the time. According to an extract of The Third Man published yesterday, Gordon came back from his constituency in the early hours of May 7, spoke to staff and then had a meeting with Peter and Andrew Adonis. I'm afraid his memory is playing tricks. Gordon did have a meeting, but it wasn't with Andrew. I remember this beyond doubt, partly from my diary entry (I noted the meeting was with Sue Nye and David Muir from his office, Peter, me, and party polling expert Greg Cook), but mostly for GB's mild irritation that Andrew was in a television studio rather than hitting the phones to the Lib Dems. Andrew called in shortly afterwards, just as GB was finishing another bacon sandwich. Nick loved the bacon sandwich detail. Robinson that is, not Clegg. The Nick I beat on Top Gear.

His over-thick diaries are full of trivia.  How dare he criticise my Peter??!!  Why should anyone remember all that crap anyway or even bother getting it right?  Alastair Campbell should know that keeping a diary is not a memory test.  The shorter the better as long as you remembered to record the right things and not all the crap about who had what sandwich filling. 

I think he is just jealous that Peter is doing so well.  Indeed, if I have anything to do with it Peter will have his own TV show soon, and he may even be getting married to a certain Lady Mandelson to be ....

Now that would be news to gladden the hearts of the media and British people.

I'll give them something to write about.  

The first thing is to see that we both get invited to the Graham Norton Show.  (Is that still on?)  If he is too rude to me I will just karate chop his chops. 

What a pity Michael Parkinson has retired.  I can't stand that Alan Carr Chatty Man.  Oh, for a British chat show host with a bit of refinement instead of puerile jokes.  I will consider Jonathan Ross if he is the only one though he is quite irritating and I didn't agree with him victimising poor Manuel because his grand-daughter is a slut.  He should have just victimised the slut herself, but he was afraid the FemiNazis castrating him and stuffing his thing into his mouth like what the English people used to do in the olden days before burning them at the stake, so he took it out on poor Manuel because he is from Barcelona ....

Dame Edna would be so perfect.