Oh, and read their constitutions like a lawyer, discuss it amongst yourselves and report to me.
Did you know that if we all said what we really think using our own name the sky would fall in on the liberal establishment?
Just join them and say what you really think. If they expel you for your views, report to me. Obviously, don't say anything that cannot be morally or intellectually defended or anything that I cannot morally and intellectually defend.
This is what I propose for any nationalist who wishes not to give up on politics but cannot bring themselves to join a pariah party or work for Nick Griffin or Nigel Farage.
If the Conservative Party cancel your membership without giving a reason, let me know.
The Labour Party can suspend you after a thorough investigation, but they suspended the requirement for a thorough investigation for Lutfur Rahman when he was showing signs of having a mind of his own. Fortunately for him he got his act together in time to run as an independent and is now Mayor of Tower Hamlets. I have met Lutfur and I really do not believe he is Muslim extremist the way the Islamohobes like Andrew Gilligan are portraying him. He was wearing jeans on the Sunday I met him and was even photographed wearing a pink shirt.
I have met the Muslims - even the radical ones - and they are not really that scary, in my opinion.
I don't really know that much about the LibDems because they fall below my radar really, but they are supposed to have the most democratic constitution of all.
Just join whichever party with the people you feel most comfortable with, and try to enjoy yourself.
This is the strategy is I suggest for the educated and socially confident.
Remember the real lunatics and extremists are already in power starting wars and forcing gay marriage up our collective anal passages. Don't let them get away with it.
HELP ME ANNOY THE FEMALE-DOMINATED PC BBC
Would you like to nominate Claire Khaw for the iPM New Year Honour for being the most entertainingly philosophical, political and theological Woman of the Year? Go on, go on, go on!
I already know they won't let me win but your nominations will annoy them enormously.