Why does the Mail pay Peter Hitchens to sneer at British Conservatism?

For relentless negativity, no one can better that lifelong depressive Peter Hitchens. Isn't the Mail ready for another Conservative writer - such as myself - that won't drive its younger male readers with still some fight left in them straight into the arms of Islam if not ISIS?

It would appear that Hitchens favours a constitutional dictatorship. He should know that a Caliph is also dictator whose powers are limited by the Koran. He surely cannot be proposing that Charles or William become absolute monarchs unless he really has gone bonkers.

Personally, as I examine the record of ‘democratically-elected’ rulers across the world,  my Cromwellian head begins to be ruled by my Royalist heart, and I start to see the point of giving the headship of the state to the Lord’s Anointed, provided it can be combined with the rule of law, an adversarial parliament, the Bill of Rights, Magna Carta, Jury Trial and Habeas Corpus (in short, the 1689 settlement rightly known as the Glorious Revolution). 

http://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2012/06/what-is-so-good-about-democracy-whats-wrong-with-libertarianism-and-who-has-the-right-to-review-what.html

If it is Hitchens' plan to drive British Conservatives to suicide, he should do the decent thing himself first so a vacancy arises in the Mail and a more optimistic Conservative such as myself can nimbly and cheerfully step into his shoes.

Tweets of paralysing morbidity, despair and gloom, perhaps carefully crafted to induce suicide or acts of suicidal terrorism ...

Muslims have God, but Conservative Anglicans only have Peter Hitchens to mock their imminent extinction. 

            Tweets by @ClarkeMicah
           
    

@Tim_C_H @BenMackenzie Why cannot people grasp that I am not suggesting anything? I am merely writing the national obituary. I have...

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 26, 2015

@YouareParsons @michaeljmcglade Decent burial and a good obituary are what I hope for now.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 27, 2015

.@The_Contempori Don't you read what I write? there is no solution. The country is finished. I write its obituary.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) June 27, 2015

@TheGrunkle @RichardAENorth I no longer have any engagement. I just observe, laugh and write the obituary.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) June 27, 2015

@Atheistdick @fen_ana @RepSean No idea. I am writing the obituary of a dead country, not trying to resuscitate it.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) December 20, 2015

@Revanchist7 @scovers123 This persuaded me to abandon any future attempt to influence my readers.I now write the obituary of a dead country.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) February 5, 2016

@Revanchist7 @scovers123 In fact, I write the obituary of a dead country whose assassin is the Tory Party.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) February 5, 2016

@suemcdonald342 I despaired years ago. I now write the Obituary of Britain, an ex-country.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) April 23, 2016

@Jorji_Costava1 You're mistaken. I no longer have any active interest in the politics of this dead country. I just write its obituary.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 5, 2016

.@EwanLawry I wouldn't do anything. I am writing the obituary of a dead country, not vainly trying to revive a corpse.

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 6, 2016

@RealSensitive You mean 'persuade'. No. As I keep saying,this is a dead country. I don't try to revive the corpse.I just write its obituary,

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 6, 2016

@RealSensitive You mean 'persuade'. No. As I keep saying,this is a dead country. I don't try to revive the corpse.I just write its obituary,

— Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) May 6, 2016