Announce and hold an in or out EU referendum before the next general election.
When that is said and done, UKIP members will drag their bedraggled selves to back into the Conservative Party.
It would be a win-win situation, since it is also the right thing to do.
You know it makes sense!
HELP ME ANNOY THE PC BBC
Would you like to nominate Claire Khaw for the iPM New Year Honour for being the most entertainingly philosophical, political and theological Woman of the Year? Go on, go on, go on!
Would you like me to the be the Most Powerful Woman in Britain?
Do you want to annoy the feminazis at Woman's Hour? Then you know what to do: nominate me!
(They won't let me win, but they will definitely get annoyed if the nominations keep coming in!)