Eddy Butler and me

"Rumour has it in nationalist circles that you are the secret lover of Eddy Butler! I'm not sure whether you were aware of this or not."

While Eddy is an undoubtedly attractive man, being tall, dark, mysterious and manly, I have not yet had the privilege of becoming a member of his harem nor has he indicated to me that there is a vacancy.  I feel I should deny this rumour for the sake of his reputation and the sake of his harem members' peace of mind.  

I am still unsure if physical relations between different races constitutes miscegenation even if contraception is faithfully and effectively practised, and do not wish to probe such a delicate subject further in the light of the Party's delicate internal politics at this very sensitive time of the Party's history.  

Since I am an advocate of moral restraint, I now find myself obliged to practice what I preach.

In case anyone is interested in applying let me just say that I am only interested in ultra alpha males with loadsa money.  For some time now, I have been rather keen on Peter Mandelson , even in the knowledge of his established preference for the stronger sex, and despite his rather pedestrian prose in his rather dull book.  Indeed, my love and admiration for him is so deep and wide that it motivates me to offer giving up sex with all other men, including himself, if that is the price of becoming Lady Mandelson.  

Indeed, I would give up sex with women too, because that would only be right and proper.  

But I have heard nothing from him nor Sir Stuart Rose, despite my proposal to him that I have displayed at http://thebattlefieldoflove.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-proposal-to-sir-stuart-on.html

Lord Black of Crossharbour - shall I tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree too?

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23858375-conrad-black-could-return-to-house-of-lords-after-bail-hearing.do

It was after all Barbara Amiel who went on mad spending sprees that led him to his doom. I am accustomed to living frugally and have no history of driving men to their doom through siren demands for sex and shopping.

I imagine that Lord Black must have some money left or we could make some money together with my little schemes.   I am after all a one-woman Think Tank. 

I am still very keen on Peter Mandelson but I am a principled sort of woman and know of his preference for the Stronger Sex.  Peter Tatchell has just announced on Facebook that he is single again and I feel it only right to say, with appropriate humility because I do know my place, that Peter Mandelson should look at other men first before settling his penetrating brown eyes upon me.  I will wait for him in patience and devotion, knowing that what is mine will eventually come my way, in the fullness of time ....

I refuse to be of the many queuing up to him at bookshops, though it did occur to me that this would be a way of meeting my future husband and co-host of our talk show which I think should be called The Lord and Lady Mandelson Show.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBL2kzKg4nY

Peter, I am sorry I have to do this, but I know you will find me more attractive if similar alpha males also take an interest in me, even if they are still jailbirds.  I am just hurrying you along a little, for both our sakes, for neither of us are getting any younger, are we, darling?  

That Sir Stuart Rose never even responded to my offer made at http://thebattlefieldoflove.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-proposal-to-sir-stuart-on.html

A post about me and my Amazing Facebook Friends [Who Are Glorious and Great] at Ben Woodham's blog

http://benwoodhams.wordpress.com/2010/06/12/claire_khaw/

I particularly enjoyed:

"She is instead simply an animal flinging its own faeces through the bars of its cage. She is an object lesson in the true danger of the internet, and that is not Facebook, Twitter or the democratisation of knowledge. It is that, with enough determination – and she has no shortage of that – any disturbed person can make a noise loud enough to be heard above the din. Some may say it was ever thus, but I think that their voices are louder, and carry farther, than has been possible before."

Best of all he mentions my Facebook friends and warns Cameron's "shiny new intake" of MPs to stay away off my friends' list.  Only the more senior and experienced politicians are intellectually strong enough to take my views without rejecting the milk of liberal orthodoxy they are still suckling from, apparently.

So, are you senior and experienced enough to be my Facebook friend?

Clicking through to her Facebook profile reveals that she has in excess of 1,100 “friends”, of whom a disproportionate amount either:

a. are politicians

[including: Zac Goldsmith (Con, Richmond Park), Sir Alan Haslehurst (Con, Saffron Walden), Angela Eagle (Lab, Wallasey), Austin Mitchell (Lab, Great Grimsby), Boris Johnson (Con, Mayor of London), Ed Vaizey (Con, Wantage), Eric Pickles (Con, Brentwood and Ongar), Jean-Marie Le Pen (France, the French), John Prescott, Ken Livingstone, Lynne Featherstone (Lib Dem, Horney and Wood Gren), Margarets Beckett and Hodge (Lab, Derby South, Barking), Michael Fabricant (Con, Lichfield), Ming Campbell (Lib Dem, North East Fife), Nigel Evans (Con, Ribble Valley), Peter Lilley (Con, Hitchen and Harpenden), Peter Mandelson, Shahid Malik, Simon Hughes (Lib Dem, Bermondsey and Old Southwark), Tony McNulty, and Adrian Edmonson (Vivian, The Young Ones)]

or

b. use the St George Flag as their profile picture.

And, of course, Andrew Neil, but that’s only to be expected.

Now, of course, being a “friend” on Facebook does not imply any kind of endorsement. Many of these people are clearly on Ms Khaw’s list so that she can keep an eye on what they’re up to; Shami Chakrabarti, for instance, cannot have much in common with Ms Khaw, personally or ideologically.

Still, it might be worth David Cameron’s shiny new intake bearing in mind that, no matter the value of Facebook as a promotional tool, it hardly looks good to to call Claire Khaw a “friend” in any context.

There’s a cross-party flavour to this ‘Khaw Committee’, and that is reflected in her belief that our country needs only one party. Luckily for us, she’s already created it at

http://www.1party4all.co.uk/